Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
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I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So. Much. Porn.
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