Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
