I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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