I wanna bring you to show and tell
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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