Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm so fucking centered right now
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
