you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize