My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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