So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
