East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
