we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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