I think I died a long time ago.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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