just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize