Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
