with your own penis?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
