Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I supernannyed him into submission
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize