wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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