tell your sister to shave her snatch
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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