My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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