he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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