butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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