I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
