Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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