before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
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Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
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Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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