I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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