Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
