Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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