I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
