***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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