it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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