Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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