For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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