What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
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Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
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Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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