We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
