Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How does it feel to date your dad?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
