i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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