So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
