I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
