New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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