some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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