you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
