with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
