I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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