don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
