if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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