these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
