google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
