she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
