My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
