If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he fucked my hip out of place.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
