About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
worst night to have a conscience
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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