Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My pussy is not your playground.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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