are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
