gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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