Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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