Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
