I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
