Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
