Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
