Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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