I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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