you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
