The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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