someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
