I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
