tell your sister to shave her snatch
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize