im gay
i know
yea but for you.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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