overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
