I forgot how hot balto sounded
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
